Bitter People

Are you nourishing yourself with a toxic stew of fear, trepidation and resentment, given Barack Obama's Inauguration? Some are, and they continue to "reach out" to me and Democratic friends with baseless complaints and venom.

I'm not naming names, because I'm not one to gossip. And I'm not referring to the millions of people who didn't vote for Obama; I'm referring to the millions of bitter people who didn't vote for Obama. He spoke of their ilk while on the campaign trail.

Mayhill Fowler, Huffington Post blogger, broke the infamous "bitter" story in April 2008; explaining that

... when he spoke to a group of his wealthier Golden State backers at a San Francisco fund-raiser last Sunday, Barack Obama took a shot at explaining the yawning cultural gap that separates a Turkeyfoot from a Marin County. "You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them," Obama said. "And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

Obama made a problematic judgment call in trying to explain working class culture to a much wealthier audience. He described blue collar Pennsylvanians with a series of what in the eyes of Californians might be considered pure negatives: guns, clinging to religion, antipathy, xenophobia.

Yeah, so his comments were a 'problematic judgment call'; they also resonate with truth; particularly the "antipathy to people who aren't like them" descriptor. It's a given that simply disliking President Obama doesn't make one a racist. To believe so would be primitive black and white thinking; something to avoid.

The bitter ones are disgruntled, and many are lashing out. It seems they bristled with animosity even before Obama won the Primary, though "their people" had been in charge for some years. Why so angry? Many of them specialized in forwarding scurrilous anti-Obama e-mails around the country, keying cars with Obama bumper stickers, and painting his political signs with racist graffiti. Gotta love 'em!

On the night of Obama's Inauguration, at least two self-identified white women, one from North Carolina's Triad, called into C-Span whining. They claim to have voted for Obama, but were miffed that his "Caucasian roots" had been "overlooked." Huh? Was Inauguration Day that ominous? You couldn't hold out 24 hours before complaining? All those happy black people--scary!

If my Party had presided over eight years of assorted disasters, I'd put a lid on the condescension and contempt at this point. Maybe I'd be...listening? Besides, the bitter ones don't necessarily bother to assail the Democratic Party platform; they hope to denigrate by calling Obama "Messiah" and referencing his "Coronation." Such critiques are shallow. They're hatched from base impulses that whisper, "If 'they' win, then somehow I lose."

I'm not rattled by substantive criticism of Obama; I think it's healthy, as I'm not into groupthink. Obama, in my opinion, is a brilliant, open minded, charismatic Democratic politician; not particularly radical; who just happens to be biracial and bicultural. Of course many Democrats, and others, are celebrating like mad. What if an intelligent, appealing Libertarian or Republican candidate had been elected instead? Would the bitter white folk not be excited?

Some of the bitter people voted for Obama, or have multi-racial families. Marriage to a person of a different race doesn't, of course, "cure" one of racism, anymore than a romantic partnership with a woman obviates sexism. I suspect much of the malevolence aimed those who of us who dare respect him springs from racism; often unexamined and denied. Rise above your instincts! We all have racism within us. It helps to partake in a little self-awareness occasionally, though that may be a threatening prospect. Reportedly, Obama himself values the practice.

Bitter (white) people: if you favor the status quo, you're right to feel threatened. He's in. You didn't stop it. You can't take it away. No matter what happens or doesn't--things here are different. Barack Obama is proof of that. But calm down. Change happens slowly. My hope is that every one of us, bitter or not, will be positively impacted.

Our children need not assume every President will be an old white man; perhaps a dumb one, at that. That reality is necessary for the healthy growth of our country. I suppose healthy growth also means we may be challenged to consider others once in a while, instead of solely our individual personal interests (bank accounts) and those of our immediate family--scary!

So, where do we go from here? Change--or be left behind.

"We're No Longer A Southern State"

I went to the drugstore today. Better living through chemistry, and all.


For the second time since I voted, I saw the man who helped me with my touch machine at election time. A big bear of a man, a white senior citizen, oozing friendliness and goodwill.

This time, in the drugstore, I decided to say hello. "Did you work at the polls?" I asked. "Yes," he said, "for early voting." "I thought you looked familiar," I said.

"Did you see me in the newspaper?"
"No, I saw you at the polls."
"You don't read the newspaper?"
"No. My husband does."
"I said some things I shouldn't have."
"Like what? That you were happy with how things went?" I smiled.
"I said 'We're no longer a Southern state.'"

I stared at him silently, uncomprehending. "What do you mean, 'we're no longer a Southern state?'"

"We're no longer a Southern state," he said regretfully. "Not like Kentucky. Or Tennessee. And Virginia--Virginia's no longer a Southern state." He elaborated, allowing as how he didn't like what had gone on with the election. No racist language was used, yet I was troubled by the sentiments implied.

I could feel my face become guarded. I looked at him blankly; disappointed, regretting I'd initiated conversation. He complained of people going to the polls in droves simply to vote Obama and a straight Democratic ticket. "That's what I did," I said. "Well, I voted for some Judges."

It became clear that while I had assumed he was a Democrat; he assumed I was Republican. Then I remembered. My candidate won. I can afford to be gracious. We discussed acne medications.

"Welcome back to North Carolina," he said; heading toward the cash register.

"Thank you."

As I walked away, he called out: "Forget everything I said."

I smiled. I can afford to be gracious.

Cross posted at BlueNC.

Today: Transgender Day of Remembrance

Several years ago I temped for a few months in a church office, while continuing to look for a social work job. I attended services there sporadically, but never became a member.

After I moved on, the monthly church newsletter continued to arrive. I'll never forget the night I opened it up and read the customary letter from the minister to the congregation.

She expressed hope for a new year that was almost upon us. The letter then became a "thank you" to the church for their acceptance of her intent to become a man, and her request to be called a new name.

I was stunned. Over the years I had attended some drag shows at gay bars in which men impersonated women, or vice versa, on the stage. I'd certainly heard the word "transgender." But I'd never known anyone personally--to my knowledge, at least--in that category.

Though I hadn't known the minister well, I was deeply disturbed. She was firmly labeled in my mind. Minister. Lesbian. Wife. Impressive speaker. Activist.

I simply could not wrap my mind around her plan to leave womanhood.

A few days later, at a holiday concert, I shared the story with a friend during intermission. I continued to feel shock, disbelief, and discomfort.

Then I gasped. There was the minister herself, on the other side of the large sanctuary, wearing a tie.

Here's a video I found at Queers United. It's short. Please watch.



Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, held to memorialize those who have died due to anti-transgender hatred, and to raise awareness of the issue.

I still haven't figured it out. I don't need to. Even so--I'm a transgender ally.

Gso Prop 8 Protest

I made it to the protest today in Greensboro, which was smaller than I expected. Hopefully lots of Triad folks attended the Raleigh event instead.

There were no frenzied groups of rabid wingnuts in sight.

I remarked on this to a fellow protester. "There wasn't enough time for them to organize," he said; holding a sign referencing Britney Spears' 55-hour marriage.

"Yeah, I guess most of the publicity was on the internet," I replied. "And they don't have internet."

"They probably communicate by carrier pigeon," he laughed.

No doubt some of the fine citizens passing by headed straight to their local Church of God and returned with a pickup load of angry Palin wackos. But by then, I had left.

Political rallies and protests always get me a little emotional. It's comforting to be with people who share our views; particularly when those opinions and ideas are less than popular.

It's like wrapping yourself in Memaw's afghan, sipping hot chocolate, and reading Hell's Harlot. Or going to church. A good church; not a bad church.

Leaving the demonstration was the best part of the afternoon. We drove past the protesters, car windows down, and laid on the horn. They went wild.

I repeated this routine for 10 minutes or so, driving up and down the block, doing donuts and driving back past them again. My son asked me to stop.

A Fox News crew and a squad car rounded the corner, and I reluctantly drove away; satisfied that we stood up--at least briefly--for marriage equality.

There will be more opportunities for all of us before the job is done.

Cross posted at BlueNC.

"Find More Courage"

As Barack Obama delivered his magnificent victory speech on election night, he began a now-familiar refrain:

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled.

Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

Obama's desire for unity, his acknowledgment and respect for all of us--not just some of us--always captivated and comforted me. I was hungry for that, particularly after the divisiveness and polarization of the last eight years, and the war.

On Election Day, over 5 million Californians voted to support second-class status for same-sex couples in the Golden State, via passage of the discriminatory Proposition 8.

In what way is anti-equality a good thing? What of love and commitment? Are we still worried about "sin?" As for Christianity, it's evolving. The tired rhetoric condemning homosexuality is often rejected by today's Christians; seen as dated, stale, simplistic--entirely inappropriate for a living, breathing faith and spiritual practice.

Standing up for what's right is often unpopular, uncomfortable, or
even dangerous.

We have a responsibility to each other--even if we don't want to marry a same-sex partner; even if we're not Californian. The words of American civil rights leader Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906) remind us that

Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.

A blogger at BlueNC suggests "those that silently sympathize" need to "find more courage." He's right.

Let's rise to the challenge. Please join me Saturday, November 15, as we stand up for marriage equality and make our voices heard. For more information, visit Join the Impact to find specifics on local protest locations everywhere.

Burgeoning Careers of Joe Killian and Sarah Palin Now Inextricably Linked

John McCain defended his peeps Wednesday night. Damn straight. The folk turning out for McCain-Palin rallies are peace loving people, the lot of them. Kind of like Unitarians. Those veterans and women surely aren't deserving of Obama's hatred.

Though Sarah Palin may not move to Washington next year, disappointment will be assuaged as she rakes in millions with eloquent speeches and brisk sales of thick books. The very crowds Obama assailed are instrumental to Palin's continued success.

In other news, a local journalist was attacked at a Palin rally yesterday in Elon, North Carolina.